Fun_People Archive
28 May
The Comedian's Eye View of 05/29/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 28 May 97 18:24:54 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 05/29/97

Excerpted-from: 05/29/97 -- ShopTalk

                         Thursday May 29, 1997
                               &&&&&&&&&&

Politics as Usual: "Debate is raging on Capitol Hill over the Kelly Flinn
case," says Argus Hamilton.  "Most lawmakers think the military code is too
strict.  Of course, most lawmakers think the Sixth Commandment says, 'Thou
shalt not admit adultery.'"

According to a new Field Poll, Sonny Bono is the most popular choice to
challenge Barbara Boxer for the US Senate, says Gary Easley.  "it's either
him in office, or he returns to TV."

"But one has to question his campaign slogan- 'I've Got You, Babe.'" (Earl
Hochman)

"'Operation Badfellas,' an 18-month sting, netted 20 guards and Luchese
family members who were given the run of the Metropolitan Detention Center
in Brooklyn, ordering in Italian food and smuggling in contraband," says
Bob Mills.  "Investigators suspected rules were being bent when John Gotti
appeared as a contestant on 'Jeopardy.'"

"Jail visitors were being offered a choice between regular and valet
parking."  (Mills)

San Francisco is trademarking the expression "Summer of Love," says the
Cutler Daily Scoop.  "Come on people, now, pile on each other.  Everybody
get a lawyer.  Try to sue one another right now."

Business Beat: Steven Spielberg's dinosaur spectacular "The Lost World"
opened to an all-time box office record, drawing $90.1 million for the
Memorial Day weekend, says Mark Wheeler.  "In Hollywood-speak, that's almost
a Disney compensation package weekend."

"The movie is like 'Jurassic Park' only without the rich character
development." (Daily Scoop)

Coffee prices have soared as bean supplies dwindle.  "You have three choices
now," says Mills, "regular, decaf and investment grade."

"It used to be you could pay your Starbucks check with cash or credit card.
Now they want the pink slip to your car." (Jerry Perisho)

"Tobacco companies have pledged to curb under-age smoking," says Alan Ray.
"This will immediately affect some marketing plans.  For example, Marlboro's
'Summer of Barney Tour' has been put on hold."
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