Fun_People Archive
15 May
A man walks into a confessional...

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 15 May 97 16:24:22 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: A man walks into a confessional... 

Forwarded-by: "Cochell, Jim" <jim_cochell@penmetrics.com>

    A man walks into a confessional and says, "Forgive me Father for I have
sinned..."  The priest replies, "What is it that brings you here?"  "Well
father, I used the F-word yesterday."  "Oh, is that all?  Say five Hail
Marys and may the Lord be with you."  But the man replies, "Father, I really
need to talk about it..."  "Let's have it then," the priest says as he leans
back on the hard wooden bench.
    "You see Father, I was playing golf, and on the first tee, I was lining
up my drive and proceeded to hit a horrendous slice into the trees."  "Ah
yes, and that's when you cursed aloud?" the Father queries.  "No, as luck
would have it, I found my ball and had a clear shot to the green from a nice
lie; when, all of a sudden, a squirrel scampered out of some bushes, picked
up my ball by its teeth and darted up a tree."
    "That must have been when you cursed?"  "No, because just as the
squirrel had climbed to the top of the tree, a bird swooped out of the skies
and grabbed the squirrel with its talons. The bird flew out of the trees
and back out over the green.  Then, the squirrel dropped my ball from its
mouth, landing 5 inches from the cup!"
    "And that was when you cursed aloud," the priest says assuredly.  But
the man starts "No, no.."  and the Father interrupts, "Don't tell me you
missed the fucking putt!"

© 1997 Peter Langston