Fun_People Archive
12 May
Top NEWSPEAK Stories of the Week #69

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 12 May 97 14:12:50 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Top NEWSPEAK Stories of the Week #69

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bostic.com>
Forwarded-by: Phil Agre <pagre@weber.ucsd.edu>
From: Wayne Grytting <wgrytt@animal.blarg.net>
Subject:  Top NEWSPEAK Stories of the Week #69

AMERICAN NEWSPEAK. Inflicted weekly at http://www.scn.org/news/newspeak
Celebrating cutting edge advances in the exciting field of Doublespeak!
Written by Wayne Grytting

Advertisers Becoming Literate

Major advertisers are "changing the rules of magazine publishing", reports
the Wall Street Journal, by breaking down the walls separating ads from
editorial content. Now a number of corporations are demanding written
summaries of articles before submitting their ads. Recently, Chrysler sent
out a letter to Esquire and 100 magazines informing them, "In an effort to
avoid potential conflicts, it is required that Chrysler corporation be
alerted in advance of any and all editorial content that encompasses sexual,
political, social issues or any editorial content that could be construed
as provocative or offensive." I particularly like that "could be construed"
part. Really professional. Countering critics who worry about freedom of
the press, Pentacom CEO David Martin points out the reasonableness of
advertiser's demands because, given ads that cost $22,000 a piece, "you want
it surrounded by positive things." Esquire certainly agreed. After receiving
their letter from Chrysler, they canceled a scheduled story with a gay theme
by author David Leavitt.  (WSJ 4/30)


Mr. Bojangles Goes High Class

Bob Dylan and a host of rock performers have discovered a new direction for
their talents doing private concerts for corporations. Carley Simon has done
three shows for conventions of Merril Lynch stockbrokers, while Dylan, the
Eagles and Crosby, Stills and Nash were off entertaining the financial
analysts from Nomura Asset Capital Corp. Even younger bands like Gin
Blossoms and Toad The Wet Sprocket have been jumping on the corporate gravy
train, which often pays three times what bands can  make from a regular
concert. While critics complain about the counter culture being ripped off
"as a dividend for a company's sales reps," supporters say that such
cynicism is out of step with the 90's when groups like the Rolling Stones
are doing commercials for Microsoft. For those who blanch at the thought of
philistine CEO's setting the song list for an artist like Bob Dylan, there
are these words from Nomura president Ethan Penner.  "I am not here paying
someone a lot of money to amuse themselves - they are here to amuse me."
Smile big, Bob.  (WSJ 4/28)


Nike Worries About Indonesia

13,000 workers in Indonesia protested against Nike subcontractors for
failing to pay the minimum wage of $2.50 a day. Nike responded by pointing
out an even greater danger threatening these employees. Jim Small, a
spokesman for the attitude company, noted that wages have increased three
fold in Indonesia in the past two years. "There's concern what that does to
the market," said Small, "whether or not Indonesia could be reaching a point
where it is pricing itself out of the market." Do remember that the cost of
producing a $120 pair of  Air Jordans is almost $4.  Regardless, Nike is
very concerned about the welfare of these employees, which may help explain
their innovative campaign to save the $2.50-a-day employees from the sin of
greed.  Nike is  refusing to pay more to its factories as a result of any
wage increases. Meanwhile, Mr. Small has planned a seminar to explain what
he and other Nike PR Representatives are doing do to deserve more pay than
their Indonesian co-workers.  (WSJ 4/28)


Che Guevera Makes a Comeback

Cuba's major revolutionary export, Che Guevera, is back in vogue with  a
best selling memoir, and several biographies and movies coming out about
him. This is a result of the fact that, to quote the NY Times, "his image
has become more vivid, complex and commercial." For example, Raichle
Molitar, distributors of Fischer's Revolution Skis, is holding a Che
look-a-like contest to sell their skis. Explained spokesperson Jim
Fleischer, "We felt that the Che image - just the icon and not the man's
doings - represented what we wanted: revolution, extreme change." This
corporate pursuit of revolution, just the icon and not the reality, is also
helping to sell Swatch watches and even ash trays. All of this
commercialization has left Cubans somewhat mystified, but then they don't
live in the "free world."  (NYT 4/30)

The Out of Date Vocabulary Dept.

Paper shredders will be working overtime thanks to word from the
International Monetary fund that the label "industrial countries" is now
out. An IMF report issued by Robert Rowthorn and Ramana Ramaswamy announced
that wealthy nations will now be called "advanced economies" instead,
because they are all so busy deindustrializing. Fortunately, the dismantling
of factories by "advanced economies" and the transfer of the old activity
of actually producing anything to the "non-advanced" (?) world, is good for
us.  The report shows how, "contrary to popular perception,
deindustrialization is not a negative phenomenon..." Even so, the IMF does
recommend training programs to help "the losers adapt to change." Even the
Wall Street Journal felt compelled to add that deindustrialization has
coincided with a rapid rise in income inequality as those losing their
manufacturing jobs took 19% pay cuts in their new "advanced economy" jobs.
(WSJ 4/28)

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© 1997 Peter Langston