Fun_People Archive
4 May
Beer and the Macarena

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun,  4 May 97 14:36:47 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Beer and the Macarena

Forwarded-by: Steve Hardaway <stehar@dfw.net>

A banjo player and an accordion player were on a ship that sank in the
middle of the Ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a
box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.  After
floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water.  On
the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst, and starvation,
they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew
near, they saw that it was an old oil lamp (the kind that genies come in).
They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said,
"OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp but hey, I've been doing this
3-wishes stuff for a while now and, quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys
only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here. Make it a good one."

The accordion player blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer
we can drink for the rest of our lives!"  "Fine," said the genie and he
instantly turned the entire Ocean to beer.  "Great move," said the banjo
player in disgust.  "It was bad enough before; now we're gonna have to piss
in the boat."

*****************************************************************************

The Power of the Macarena

Two men, a musician and a dancer, were sentenced to die in the electric
chair on the same day.  The formal speech had been given by the warden and
the priest had given the last rites.  The warden, turning to the dancer
solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"  To which the man
replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the
Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden.  He turned
to the musician and asked, "Well, what about you son?  What is your final
request?"  "Please," pleaded the musician, "Kill me first!"
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