Fun_People Archive
30 Apr
The Comedian's Eye View of 04/30/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 30 Apr 97 02:36:23 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 04/30/97

Excerpted-from: 04/30/97 -- ShopTalk

                         Wednesday April 30, 1997

     "In an interview in this month's GQ, Tiger Woods makes a
      demeaning joke about lesbians. Now, if we can just get Ellen
      DeGeneres to offend Fuzzy Zoeller everyone will be even."

                                  Conan O'Brien

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Around the Country: "Congress passed the chemical weapons treaty and the
government will no longer be allowed to use toxins," says Bill Maher.  "Now
we can leave the poisoning of the air and polluting of the Earth to the
private sector."

"The guy who inspired the Kramer character on 'Seinfeld' is running for
mayor of New York," says Hamilton.  "It gets crazier.  It turns out the guy
who played Gen. Custer in 'Santa Fe Trail' was president from 1981 to 1989."

Businessman Alan Gerry wants to build a Woodstock theme park.  "The slogan
is 'The Funniest Time You'll Never Remember.'" (Cutler Daily Scoop)

"Women with a flower over one ear with be admitted free," says Bob Mills.

"Among the more popular rides will be Spaced-Out Mountain." (Steve Voldseth)

A Kentucky man who spent three hours in jail accused of not returning a
video tape to a rental outlet is suing.  "Scott Rose says he definitely
returned 'Ernest Goes to Jail' the morning after he rented it.  His attorney
plans an insanity defense based on his client's choice of film." (Olympia
Daily World)

President Clinton's volunteerism summit took place in Philadelphia.  "The
real beauty of the '90s is when a paid public official can tell us we would
all be better off if we tackled nagging social problems for free and
everyone thinks it is an amazing step forward." (Mike Reeder)

"How can you get people to volunteer?  Threaten them with subpoenas.  Works
at the White House."  (Daily Scoop)

The 63-year-old California woman who gave birth to a girl has given
interviews.  "There are benefits to later-age parenting," says Ray.  "They
both can get into Disneyland for half price."

"We've heard of soccer moms, but shuffleboard moms?"  (Daily Scoop)
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