Fun_People Archive
22 Apr
WhiteBoardness - 4/21/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 22 Apr 97 00:50:17 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: WhiteBoardness - 4/21/97

Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for Monday, April 21, 1997

This item comes by way of Mike Laverty:

Sydney, Australia:

While not quite a case of assault with a deadly vegetable, an Australian
man has been convicted of breathing on a policeman after chewing garlic.

Friday, Jeff Pearce was convicted of assault in a Perth court after
admitting he deliberately chewed a clove of garlic and then breathed in a
policeman's face after being pulled over for a traffic offense.

Perth magistrate Peter Micheledes stressed in convicting Pearce that he did
not intend to deter garlic lovers but was applying the law. The local
criminal code defines assault as the direct or indirect application of
force, including gas or odor, in such a manner as to cause personal
discomfort.

Pearce told the court a friend had told him the best way to repel police
was to chew garlic and breathe on them. Following the advice, Pearce kept
a clove of garlic on the dashboard of his car for just such an occasion.

But when he was pulled over by police for a smoking exhaust pipe, he was
arrested for drunk driving despite chewing the garlic. He was later charged
with assaulting constable Darren Horn.
==========

Baltimore, Maryland:

At 115 years old, John E. Bell is getting a new heart pacemaker. He
outlasted his old one, put in when he was 104.

"He outlived the battery," said Dr. Ronald Berger, the Johns Hopkins
Hospital cardiac specialist who performed the surgery on Thursday. "He
deserves to have a heartbeat for as long as the rest of his body allows him
to."

Asked his secret for longevity, Bell said Thursday: "I treat everybody like
they should be treated. God said, 'Feed his sheep."' Bell has been known
for years in his Baltimore neighborhood as the "mayor of Oldtown," and has
been honored for his work helping the poor and cleaning up trash.

Medicare will pick up most of the bill for Bell's procedure, roughly $6,500.
==========

Albany, Georgia:

The 74-year-old owner of a car dealership chased off an armed robber with
a weed trimmer, whacking him in the behind after the gunman menaced, "Old
man, I've got you now."

The robber showed up at Oran McGlamry's dealership Thursday with a pistol,
Police Chief James Vick said.

McGlamry, forced to give up his wallet in a holdup Monday, rushed the gunman
with his humming weed trimmer. The surprised robber turned to run and fell.
That's when McGlamry kicked his trimmer into full throttle and whacked him
in the buttocks, Vick said.

The robber ran away but sheriff's deputies found him.

"I was just trying to do what any other man would have done to protect his
business, his wife and his life," McGlamry said Friday.

Jason Gordon, 17, was charged with armed robbery, aggravated assault,
carrying a concealed weapon and carrying a pistol without a license, police
said.

Gordon had two cuts in the seat of his pants. He didn't require medical help
but "I'm sure it stung pretty good," Vick said.

© 1997 Peter Langston