Fun_People Archive
11 Apr
Hog Wild

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 11 Apr 97 13:42:50 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Hog Wild

Forwarded-by: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
Forwarded-by: Robert Stockton <rfsesq@nerc1.nerc.com>

There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle -- always wanted
a nice big hog -- so he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper,
and not having much luck.  One day he comes across a beautiful classic
Harley with a "for sale" sign on it.  Upon inspection, he is amazed to find
the bike in mint condition.  He inquires about it with the owner:  "This
bike is beautiful!  I'll take it.  But you gotta tell me how you keep it in
such good shape."

"Well," said the seller, "it's pretty simple.  Just make sure that if the
bike is outside and it's going to rain, to rub Vaseline on the chrome.  It
protects it from the rain.  In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't
need my tube of Vaseline anymore.  Here, you can have it." and he hands the
buyer a huge tube of Vaseline.

So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.  He takes the bike
over to show his girlfriend.  She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan).

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents'
house.  See, it's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will
make a big impression.  When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend
grabs her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says," I have to tell you something about my parents before we
go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk, because the person who says
anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says, and in they go.  The boyfriend is astounded.  Right
smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.  In
the family room, a huge stack of dishes.  Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes.
In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.  As dinner
progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation.  He
reaches over, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make it on
the dinner table.  Of course, no one says a word.

"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks to himself.  So he grabs his girlfriend's
mom and has his way with her right there on the dining room floor.  Again,
no one says a word.  Then, the boyfriend notices it starting to rain, and
decides he better take care of the motorcycle.  He pulls the Vaseline from
his pocket.  The father stands up and shouts:  "All right, all right!  I'll
do the dishes!"

© 1997 Peter Langston