Fun_People Archive
7 Apr
More on (moron) Medical Case Files

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  7 Apr 97 18:49:26 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: More on (moron) Medical Case Files

Forwarded-by: "Matthew T. Kleinosky" <mkleinosky@utsph.sph.uth.tmc.edu>
Forwarded-by: "Pat Shields (Teats de Swamp)" <pshields@EMAIL.UNC.EDU>

YES!YES!YES! That stuff is the absolute truth (RE:  Funny things in
medical records).  Transcription is what I do for a living, and I have had
to edit the same stuff out of documents every day!  Some of my favorites
that I have had in my very own work:

"He does have a nipple ring, but denies any other symptoms."

"Along with Dr. XXXX, the L2-3 interspace was identified and anesthetized."

"Abdomen is flat and round."

"She reports she had sexual relations with a male known to her last night
 and this morning."

"The patient was examined along with the nurse."

"His younger brother died of a drug overdose which seemed to increase his
 difficulty with sleep."

"He states that he was assaulted at the end of February with a negative
 head CT."  [CT = Computer Tomography, aka CAT scan]

"A head CT was done at an outside institution which was normal."

"Upon conversing with the patient, his left leg was amputated."

"She uses condoms for birth control pills now."

"Genital exam:  unremarkable penis."

"Her head...scratch that."

"On examination, the patient had swelling of the bilateral hemiscrotum."

	And my very favorite:

"MEDICATION:  2500 mg aspirin.  Wait a minute.  Did I say that right?
 2500 mg aspirin.  2.5 g aspirin.  That's a shitload of aspirin!"

-Teats de Swamp, been there, done that

© 1997 Peter Langston