Fun_People Archive
28 Mar
17 Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft HQ Was in Alabama

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 97 17:03:39 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: 17 Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft HQ Was in Alabama

Forwarded-by: Stephen Nelson <snelson@nwlink.com>
Forwarded-by: BRADLEY SHEFFIELD

17 Ways Things Would Be Different If Microsoft HQ Was in Alabama

 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft "Winders 95."
 2. Instead of an hour glass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.
 3. Occasionaly you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag.
 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or "Naw"
 5. Instead of "Ta-Da", the opening sound would be dueling banjos.
 6. The recycle bin would be an outhouse.
 7. Whenever you pull up the sound player you'd get a digitized drunk
    redneck yelling "Free Bird".
 8. Instead of "Start Me Up" the Winders 95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky
    Heart".
 9. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the confederate flag.
10. Microsoft Word would be just that.  One Word.
11. Instead of a WWW server, Microsoft would have beer servers.
12. New shutdown WAV: "Y' all come back now!"
13. Hardware would be replaced by using spare parts off an old Trans Am.
14. Four Words: Daisy Dukes Screen Savers!
15. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
    your front yard.
16. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator.
17. Microsoft CEO : "Bubba Gates."

© 1997 Peter Langston