Fun_People Archive
25 Mar
The Comedian's Eye View of 03/25/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 97 01:38:41 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 03/25/97

Excerpted-from: 03/25/97 -- ShopTalk

                        Tuesday March 25, 1997

     "Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his new CBS deal and can't
      wait to get started alienating the staff of an entirely new
      network.
                                  Craig Kilborn, on The Daily Show

                               &&&&&&&&&&

NEWS FROM ALL OVER: "President Clinton's knee injury has stirred sympathy
across the world," says Craig Kilborn. "He has told school children they
can join President Bill's Get Well Club by sending a homemade card and $50
to the Democratic National Committee."

Chris Stevenson of the Ottawa Sun, on President Clinton requiring surgery
after injuring himself at Greg Norman's estate: "Maybe Bubba tripped over
one of those six-stroke leads Norman tossed away."

A Russian official said that NATO's plans to offer membership to former
Soviet satellite nations would be 'the West's biggest mistake since the end
of the Cold War,' says Steve Voldseth. "Assuming, of course, you overlook
EuroDisney."

The Liggett Group has admitted cigarettes are addictive and cause cancer.
"Asked for comment, the other tobacco companies denied the existence of the
Liggett Group." (Cutler Daily Scoop)

In a related story, says Jeff Tipton, "Alcohol producers still deny that
drinking makes you drunk."

"The Vatican now has its own web page.  It's got some neat features.  When
you click "heaven", you are linked to a picture of paradise.  When you click
"hell", you are linked to America OnLine." (Alan Ray)

© 1997 Peter Langston