Fun_People Archive
24 Mar
Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 97 12:13:27 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery

Forwarded-by: wendybrek@mixcom.com


    Things You'd Rather Not Hear During Surgery


Better save that.  We'll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor--we're going to need a mop.

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."

Bo!  Bo!  Come back with that!  Bad dog!!

Wait a minute.  If this is his spleen, then what's that?

Hand me that...uh...that uh....thingie.

Oh, no.  I just lost my Rolex.

Oops.  Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

Darn!  There go the lights again!

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.  Heck, the guy's got two of 'em."

Everybody stand back--I lost my contact lens.

Could you stop that thing from thumping; it's throwing my concentration off.

Hey, What's this doing here?

I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

That's cool!  Now, can you make his leg twitch?!

I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses...

Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Sterile, schmerile.  The floor's clean, right?

What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...?

Anyone see where I left my scalpel?

And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape.

This patient has already had some kids--right?

© 1997 Peter Langston