Fun_People Archive
12 Mar
The Comedian's Eye View of 03/13/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 12 Mar 97 23:44:01 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 03/13/97

Excerpted-from: 03/13/97 -- ShopTalk

                       Thursday March 13, 1997

     "After 15 years, Ryan O'Neal is ending his relationship with
      Farrah Fawcett. Not surprisingly, she's being replaced by
      Cheryl Ladd."
                                  Conan O'Brien

                               &&&&&&&&&&

News From All Over: "Prince William has been confirmed into the Church of
England," says Gary Easley.  "Now, just like his mother and father, he must
obey the nine commandments."

In a USA Today poll, 41% of respondents said the media are too aggressive
in reporting the news.  "We want kinder, gentler reporters," says the Scoop,
"reporters who hand the grieving mother a tissue after they ask how it felt
to see her son mangled in a farm combine."

In the same survey, 8% said the media are not aggressive enough.  "These
are the same 8% who say the media wimped out of exposing the conspiracy
behind Elvis' faked death." (Scoop)

A survey of LA schools finds that almost 14% of teens have taken a weapon
to school.  "Most of the time it's for self-defense, but some kids bring
them for grade reevaluation." (Easley)

"The number decreased when students were told the cafeteria meatloaf does
not count as a weapon." (Alex Pearlstein)

Sam Donaldson celebrated his 63rd birthday this week.  "But his hair is only
9," says Jenny Church.

Howard Stern's "Private Parts" opened to sellout audiences.  "Most filmgoers
looked like Pat Boone imitators," reports Jeff Tipton.

New in Sports: Former Ram Darryl Henley got 41 years for running a drug ring
and plotting to kill a judge.  "Henley was thankful," says Paul Ecker.  "He
had heard rumors he was about to be traded to the Jets."

Dennis Rodman has signed to become Hulk Hogan's summer wrestling partner.
"As a precaution, the World Wrestling Council will insist that all ringside
photographers work from shark cages." (Bob Mills)
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