Fun_People Archive
19 Feb
The Comedian's Eye View of 02/18/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 97 13:17:43 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 02/18/97

Excerpted-from: 02/18/97 -- ShopTalk
Forwarded-by: dfitzpat@interserv.com

Capitol Beat:  According to Bob Woodward, China donated secret cash to the
White House in 1996.  "This gives Clinton the nickname he needs to endure
in history," says Argus Hamilton. "We've had Honest Abe, Tricky Dick and
now Unmarked Bill."

The House has reintroduced a constitutional amendment to prohibit flag
burning. The Cutler Daily Scoop points out the actual wording:  "Congress
shall have the power to avoid doing any work on the real problems facing
America."

Phonaholics Take Note: A new study from Canada indicates that talking on
the phone while driving is linked to as many accidents as drunk driving.
"And if you happen to be drunk and talking on a cell phone in a Pinto, the
risk is astronomical," says Mike Reeder.

In the News: Sen. Fred Thompson's committees sent out 40 subpoenas for
records of Democratic fund-raising -- the same documents already subpoenaed
by the House, the Justice Department and the independent counsel. "Looks
like the stock to buy is Xerox," advises Argus Hamilton

If Newt Gingrich pays $300,000 in penalties, he may be able to deduct it as
a business expense. "Oddly in America can you get a tax break for being a
tax cheat." (Daily Scoop)

© 1997 Peter Langston