Fun_People Archive
6 Feb
I'm Confessing...

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  6 Feb 97 01:31:55 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: I'm Confessing...

[A couple of confession confessions...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Paul & Joan Blumstein <pbjb@cinenet.net>

A priest was called away for an emergency.  Not wanting to leave the
confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street
and asked him to cover for him.  The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what
to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for
a little bit and show him what to do.  The rabbi comes and he and the priest
are in the confessional.

In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have
sinned."  The priest asks "What did you do?".  The woman says "I committed
adultery."  Priest: "How many times?"  Woman: "Three times."  Priest:  "Say
two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more."  A few minutes
later a man enters the confessional.  He says "Father forgive me for I have
sinned."  Priest: "What did you do?"  Man: "I committed adultery."  Priest:
"How many times?"  Man: "Three times." Priest:  "Say two Hail Mary's, put
$5 in the box and go and sin no more." The rabbi tells the priest that he
thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.

A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I
have sinned."  Rabbi: "What did you do?"  Woman: "I committed adultery."
Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once."  Rabbi: "Go do it two more times.
We have a special this week, three for $5."

=========================================================================

Forwarded-by: Brian Smith <bdws@eskimo.com>
<further forwards repenting>

    Tommy goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have
sinned."  The priest says, "Is that you, Tommy?"  "Yes, Father." "What did
you do?"  "I have been with a loose woman."  "Who was the woman you were
with?"  "I cannot tell you, for I do not wish to sully her reputation.  The
priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"  "No, Father."  "Was it Fiona
MacDonald?"  "No, Father."  "Was it Ann Brown?"  "No, Father, I cannot tell
you."  The priest says, "I admire your sense of honor, but you must atone
for your sins.  Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."
    Tommy goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks,
"What  happened?"  Tommy replies, "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys,
and three good leads."

© 1997 Peter Langston