Fun_People Archive
3 Feb
The Trunk

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  3 Feb 97 12:38:38 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Trunk

Forwarded-by: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
Forwarded-by: Dan Snyder <Snyder@say.acnatsci.org>

    One day, a recently married man goes to the attic of his new home to
put a few things in storage. While he is there, he notices a large
steamer trunk sitting in the corner. When he tries to open it, he finds it
is locked.  Puzzled and curious, he calls his new bride up to the attic and
asks her about the trunk. She tells him that it is hers and that it only
contains some personal things. He accepts her answer and eventually forgets
all about the matter.
    Three years later when he is cleaning out the attic, he runs across the
trunk and again asks his wife what's in it. She again tells him that it
contains only personal things, but this time he is more persistent. So she
sits him down and reminds him that she makes him happy when he's feeling
down, that she keeps the house meticulously clean, that she cooks him
fantastic meals 7 days a week, and that she gives him all the sex he wants,
anytime he wants it. Then she tells him if he is happy with all of those
things, that he should forget about the trunk because she will not talk
about it.  "Fair enough," says the husband, and he finishes cleaning out
the attic.
    On their 25th wedding anniversary, he pulls the trunk down the stairs,
into the middle of the living room floor, and calls to his wife.
"Honey," he says, "we've been married for 25 years and I think it's time we
had a heart-to-heart talk. What the hell is in that trunk?" The wife
immediately protests, reminding him once again about the clean house,the
good food and the great sex.  "I don't care," he tells her. "After 25 years
we ought to be able to talk about anything. Now open this goddamn trunk!"
So, she takes a key from a chain hanging around her neck and opens the
trunk. Inside is three ears of corn and 25 thousand dollars in cash.
    "Jeez!" shouts the surprised husband. "What's going on here? Where did
all of this come from?" "Well, sweetie," replies the wife, "you said we
could talk, so I'll tell you what you want to know. Over the years, I tried
to stay faithful to you, but I wasn't always successful. Every time that I
cheated on you, I put an ear of corn into the trunk. " The husband cannot
believe the shocking confession that he has just heard, but after mulling
it over in his mind for a few moments he says to his wife, "All right, I
admit I'm not too thrilled about this, but I did say we should be honest
with each other, and I guess I can live with three times of infidelity in
25 years.  But where did all the money come from?" "Well," she replies,
"whenever the trunk got full, I sold the corn."

© 1997 Peter Langston