Fun_People Archive
30 Jan
How To Judge a Man's Character in the Toilet

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 97 13:14:36 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: How To Judge a Man's Character in the Toilet

Forwarded-by: Octopush@aol.com
Forwarded-by: alco@tridel.com.ph (Alex Colet)

	HOW TO JUDGE A MAN'S CHARACTER IN THE TOILET

TIMID		cannot piss if anyone is watching, pretends he has pissed,
		and sneaks back later.

SOCIABLE	joins pals to piss whether he wants to piss or not.

INDIFFERENT	all urinals being occupied, uses sink.

NOSY		whistles loudly, peeps at the next urinal to take a look
		at the other fellow's tool.

SHOW OFF	pisses without holding tool, adjusts tie at the same time.

ABSENT-MINDED	unbuckles belt, loosens trousers, and pisses on his shirt.

WORRIED		having spent the night out lately, take time out for
		inspection of tool.

DISGRUNTLED	stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to piss, farts,
		farts again, and walks away muttering.

SNEAKY		drops silent fart while pissing, sniffs, and looks
		accusingly at the next fellow.

SLOPPY		pisses on shoes, walks away with fly open, and adjusts
		his balls fifteen minutes later.

LEARNED		reads a pocketbook, magazine or newspaper while pissing.

AGGRESSIVE	while pissing, bangs tool on side of urinal to keep off drops.

CHILDISH	looks at bottom of urinal while pissing to watch bubbles.

CLEAN CUT	stands two feet away from urinal to avoid stepping on
		droplets and pisses on the floor.

CROSS-EYED	stands over one urinal and pisses in the next.

SHY		covers tool with both hands and pisses through fingers.

TALENTED	presses tip of tool while pissing to create two jet streams.

GROSS		pulls out loose hairs from balls while pissing.

DRUNKEN		pulls out tool, sees two, puts one back in, and pisses in
		his trousers.

© 1997 Peter Langston