Fun_People Archive
28 Jan
Like a Leopard and a Lioness

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 28 Jan 97 13:07:43 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: Like a Leopard and a Lioness

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: hitz@netapp.com (Dave Hitz)

A doctor had a reputation for helping couples increase the joy in their sex
lives, but never took a case unless he was sure he could help.  The Browns
came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams,
psychological exams, and various tests; he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to
say that I believe I can help you.

"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some
grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir,
roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's
love canal. Then, on hands and knees, you must crawl to her like a leopard
and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and, from across the room,
toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole.
Then, like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The
couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good
doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and explained that he would not take
the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the
physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take
your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be.  I cannot
help." The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the
Browns, now please, please help us."  After much anguished begging the
doctor finally relented.... "Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your
way home from my office, stop at the grocery store and buy some grapefruit
and a box of cheerios..."

© 1997 Peter Langston