Fun_People Archive
27 Jan
The Comedian's Eye View of 01/28/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 27 Jan 97 23:30:09 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 01/28/97

Excerpted-from: 01/28/97 -- ShopTalk

                       Tuesday January 28, 1997

      "Newt Gingrich is paying a $300,000 fine to keep his
      $171,600-a-year-job, which cost him $6 million to get.
      All to reform government spending."

                             Jim Mullen in "Entertainment Weekly"

                               &&&&&&&&&&

High Tech Communication: "MCI has announced a major price decrease that is
likely to start a major long-distance price war.  The war will be conducted
with annoying phone calls during the dinner hour," says Johnny Robish.

"PBS will soon offer commercial-free Internet access- if you don't mind
watching a pledge break every 15 minutes." (Bob Mills)

Singers in the News: Squeaky clean, goody-goody singer Pat Boone has
recorded an album of hard rock hits.  "In a related story, bad boy Rolling
Stone Keith Richards is working on a medley of elevator Muzak." (Alex
Kaseberg)

"Included on the album are 'April Tough Love' and 'Unfriendly Persuasion.'"
(Mills)

The Last Words: "The Green Bay Packers have repeatedly referred to something
called the West Coast Offense.  Judging by the West Coast teams I saw this
year, it must be the play where you jump offsides, fumble the handoff and
let the other team's defense score a touchdown." (Jerry Perisho)

In the News: "Democrats and Republicans promise to work together for
campaign finance reform," says Argus Hamilton.  "It's been done before.
For instance Abe Lincoln was a Republican and Democrats are getting $75,000
a night for his bedroom."

Madeleine Albright is taking up her duties as the first female secretary of
state.  "Sen. Jesse Helms thought the first official duty was to make
coffee." (Jenny Church)

© 1997 Peter Langston