Fun_People Archive
23 Jan
A Bit of Bull No. 407!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 97 13:23:20 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: A Bit of  Bull No. 407!

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 407!
		Forwarded-by: mlinksva@netcom.com (Mike Linksvayer)

ABOUT THAT INAUGURAL PARADE.  Conquering Roman generals paraded captured
slaves and exotic animals in their triumphs, including the occasional
elephant, possibly driven by a mahout (irrelevant detail, the mahout, but
when will the chance to use that word come up again?).  In those long
shots of Pennsylvania Avenue, did anyone else notice the similarity
between the slow-moving, top-heavy camera trucks and a couple of ambling
pachyderms?

UP WITH WHICH THE OTHER INMATE WOULD NOT PUT.  "Despite his fine
college education, Richard Loeb ended his sentence today with a
proposition."
     That was the lede on a story in a Chicago paper to announce
the death of half of the Leopold and Loeb murder team.  Loeb had
made a move on a fellow prisoner who was not romantically
inclined.  It's the contribution of Ian Trontz of the Palm Beach
Post.
     Trontz:  Trontz@aol.com

THE STATURE OF A STORY.  Kurt Blumenau writes:  "At the TAB chain of
newspapers (part of the monstrous Community Newspaper Company chain in
Eastern Massachusetts), editor and resident sage Brian Sullivan is fond
of quoting what I believe is an old Abe Lincoln maxim to reporters who
ask him how long a story should be: 'A man's legs should be long enough
to touch the ground.'
     "On the euphemism tip, I once read that my hometown paper, the
Rochester (N.Y.) Democrat and Chronicle, had a longstanding ban on alcohol
advertising during the years when Frank Gannett was its head honcho, in
the first half of this century. As a result, the editor of the food pages
had to refer to alcohol used in recipes as cooking beer -- i.e. 'two
tablespoons water, one stick butter, one can cooking beer.'
     "These references apparently led to many phone calls from cooks
across Monroe County, wanting to know how 'cooking beer' differed from
the everyday Genesee their husbands were slogging down in mass
quantities."
     Blumenau: bluemoon@ici.net.

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