Fun_People Archive
20 Jan
The Comedian's Eye View of 01/21/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 20 Jan 97 21:41:34 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 01/21/97

Excerpted-from: 01/21/97 -- ShopTalk

      "Sometimes I tell my son that the meaning of his name is
       'trust nobody and smile.'"

                                  Bill Cosby, from his book
                                  "Fatherhood"

                               &&&&&&&&&&

In the News: In Kleberg County, Texas, Leonso Canales led a successful
campaign to change the courthouse greetings to heaveno.  "I see 'hell' in
hello," Canales said.  "It's disguised by the 'O' but once you see it, it
will slap you in the face."  "Apparently slap you silly," comments the
Daily Scoop.

Officials from a Gold's Gym in New Hampshire recently found a backpack
containing a Bible that belonged to John Quincy Adams. "Police are
investigating," says Perisho.  "There are no records indicating Adams ever
belonged to Gold's Gym."

"It looks like the Budweiser frogs aren't retiring after all.  According to
Anheuser-Busch, they are going on hiatus for a while.  The company wouldn't
say how long the frogs would be gone nor comment on reports about
reservations for three terrariums at the Betty Ford Clinic." (Gary Easley)

A California legislator has proposed that convicted drunk drivers be
forced to display license plates with the letters DUI on them.  "some
other license display requirements would include:
    civil servants who are unwilling to help - DMV;
    politicians who campaign on special interest money - IOU." (Perisho)

The FDA has ordered warning labels on all iron-rich drugs to protect kids.
"Doctors recommend a simple home test," says Bob Mills. "Press the bottle
against the refrigerator door.  If it sticks, it needs a label."

"Gatorade will market a drink for couch spuds.  New bottles have caps that
pop off using only the TV remote." (Mills)

© 1997 Peter Langston