Fun_People Archive
19 Dec
Computer Voodoo

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 96 17:33:53 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: Computer Voodoo

[I would not be the first to point out that the computer has given rise to a  
new priesthood.  One of the ways any priesthood protects its power is by  
keeping secret the particularly useful spells, incantations, or rituals of  
their magic.  Here, for the first time, is a peek inside the Book of Computer  
Spells...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Dan Tenenbaum <dante@halcyon.com>
Forwarded-by: Naomi Shapiro

How to perform Voodoo using computers

	Revenge

1. Pain: scan a photograph of your enemy, then compress the file over and
over until it is one K. [warning: may not work on people with bad acne -psl]

2. Death: scan a photograph of your enemy to disk, then take a bath with
the disk.  Slip the wet disk under your enemy's back door.  They will come
to a swift death within a week of discovering the disk.

	Love

1. spell check your full name, accepting the computer's first suggestion
for each name.  Make a text file of this name repeated for seven pages.
Save the file seven times to the same disk (with different version
names), then put the disk in a place where the loved one will probably
pick it up and use it.  It must be in a format that will need to be
initialized when the object of your desire tries to use it.

     GUARANTEED TO WORK

© 1996 Peter Langston