Fun_People Archive
11 Dec
The Comedian's Eye View of 12/11/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 11 Dec 96 11:23:36 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 12/11/96

Excerpted-from: 12/11/96 -- ShopTalk

                     Wednesday December 11, 1996

       "There's going to be a lot more food left after cooking
        segments."
                        Matt Lauer, describing life on "Today" after
                        Bryant Gumbel leaves

                               &&&&&&&&&&

In the news: Federal officials are trying to determine the most efficient
way to dispose of old plutonium forever.  Says Jenny Church, "They could
bury it, burn it, or check it as luggage."

Medicare HMOs have been ordered not to forbid their doctors from telling
patients about more expensive treatments.  Says the Cutler Daily Scoop,
"Some HMOs want docs to say, "Take one aspirin and call your insurance rep
in the morning."

The Los Angeles County Jail has accidentally let five suspected killers go.
Says Mack Dryden, "Of course, Hollywood is in L.A. County--so releasing
mistakes is a time-honored tradition."

Dennis Rodman's weekly talk show debuted on MTV.  Says Mills, "Reviews were
generally favorable.  Rodman was credited with 14 original jokes, 23 saves
and nine rebounds."

Actress Sherry Stringfield quit the TV hit "ER" and gave up her
$70,000-a-week salary to spend more time with her boyfriend in New York.
Says Hamilton, "Maybe now the world will finally believe that the man
shortage in L.A. is for real."

Le Cirque d' OJ:  In the Simpson civil trial, the plaintiffs rested their
case on Monday.  Says Steve Tatham, "Soon the defense will rest...or chip
golf balls...or take a shower."

Observers expect OJ to hold nothing back in making his defense.  Says Alan
Ray, "He's ready to take the gloves off."

Producer Steve Tisch's next movie will be based on the case.  Says Alex
Kaseberg, "The working title is '101 Abominations.'"
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