Fun_People Archive
10 Dec
The Comedian's Eye View of 12/10/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 10 Dec 96 03:38:38 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 12/10/96

Excerpted-from: 12/10/96 -- ShopTalk

                       Tuesday December 10, 1996

"The NYPD announced that they will not participate in this
 year's Toys for Guns exchange program. Apparently, a lot of
 the officers weren't happy with the toys they got last year."

                                  Conan O'Brien


Bookstores report that Clinton's "Between Hope and History" isn't selling
too well.  Says Steve Tatham, "Many shops have it filed 'between half off
and history.'"

When GM's new electric car went on sale last week, 40 Southern Californians
stepped up to lease them.  Says Premiere Morning Sickness, "After every
trip, the car needs to spend three hours in the recharging station, so
you'll have time to get your windshield really clean."

The Salvation Army is accepting credit cards at some of their kettles, in
an attempt to modernize.  Says Gary Easley, "Now, if they really want to
modernize, their bands should learn a little Pearl Jam and Snoop Doggy Dogg.'"

Scientists say mice who are pampered by their mothers are more resistant to
stress.  However, says Alan Ray, "There is a negative effect: No other mice
want to be around them."

Among the top-selling toys is the Tickle Me Elmo doll.  Says the Cutler
Daily Scoop, "Meanwhile, Feed Me Elvis is a huge seller at Graceland."

Adds Ray: "Popular around the world this Christmas is the President Clinton
doll.  In fact, it sold out Indonesia."

Bill Gates' book "The Road Ahead" is now updated and out in paperback.  Says
Cutler, "It has a new subtitle, 'As a Matter of Fact, I Do Own the Road
Ahead."

Disney's Dalmatians continue to sniff out giant grosses.  Says Bob Mills,
"That's the big difference between the movies and television.  On film, '101
dogs' means big profits.  On TV, it just describes the new fall lineup."
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