Fun_People Archive
27 Nov
More Idiotic Quotes

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 27 Nov 96 16:54:37 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: More Idiotic Quotes

Forwarded-by: IAMBABACHU@aol.com
Forwarded-by: humour-list-request@synapse.net (Oracle Service Humor Archives)
Forwarded-by: http://www.comedybreak.com/quotes/
Forwarded-by: Bruce Guthrie

                  I can't believe they said that...

"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them
off."
  -Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the
  Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
  -Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
  -Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president."
  -Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results."
  -Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

"It's like deja vu all over again."
  -Yogi Berra

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"
  -Former French President Charles De Gaulle

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
  -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it."
  -A congressional candidate in Texas

"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to
beat somebody."
  - Richard M. Nixon

"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This
is a good planet."
  -Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a
  million dollars.

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
  -Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
  -Everett Dirksen

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
  -Samuel Goldwyn

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were
selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
  -John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
  - Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
  -General William Westmoreland

"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut
right out from under your feet."
  -Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

© 1996 Peter Langston