Fun_People Archive
18 Nov
How does a chicken cross the road?

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 96 12:49:40 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: How does a chicken cross the road?

[This old chestnut has grown a few new leaves...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Jocelyn G <jgagnon@refer.qc.ca>
Forwarded-by: HAND! <smiles@vivid.net>
Forwarded-by: Leslie Pearson

     How does a chicken cross the road?

 NT Chicken:
    Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.


 OS/2 Chicken:
    It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet
    that nobody noticed.


 Win 95 Chicken:
    You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook
    it and it still tastes like ... chicken.


 Microsoft Chicken (TM):
    It's already on both sides of the road.  And it just bought the
    road.


 OOP Chicken:
    It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.


 Assembler Chicken:
    First it builds the road ...


 C Chicken:
    It crosses the road without looking both ways.


 C++ Chicken:
    The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer
    to him on the other side.


 VB Chicken:
    USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)


 Delphi Chicken:
    The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other
    side.


 Java Chicken:
    If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will
    download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)


 Web Chicken:
    Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.


 Gopher Chicken:
    Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.


 Newton Chicken:
    Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it
    across the road in your pocket !


 Cray Chicken:
    Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it
    in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
    cooked.


 Quantum Logic Chicken:
    The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the
    road until you observe it on the side of your course.


 Lotus Chicken:
    Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !


 Mac Chicken:
    No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the
    road, so there's no way to tell it to.


 Al Gore Chicken:
    Waiting for completion of NCI (Nation Chicken-crossing Infrastructure)
    and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected
    and the Republicans don't gut the program.


 COBOL Chicken:
    0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
    IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
       PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
       VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
          ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
       GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

© 1996 Peter Langston