Fun_People Archive
1 Nov
Click & Clack's Credits

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  1 Nov 96 13:08:44 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: Click & Clack's Credits

Forwarded-by:  Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
Well..here it is, the car guys sign off and credits!  Enjoy!

We'd like to thank the following people for their contributions:

Public Opinion Pollster:  Paul Murky of Murky Research
Statistician:  Marge Innovera
Corporate Spokesperson:  Hugh Lyon Sack
Communications Director:  George Stayontopothis
Secretary of Pain Relief:  Les Aspirin
Automotive Medical Researcher:  Dr. Denton Fender
Surgeon General:  C. Everett Koop DeVille
Chairman, Staff Physics Dept.:  Victor Analysis
Staff Physicist:  Moe Mentum
Jazz Music Coordinator:  Bertha Deblues
Director, New Product Repair:  Warren T. Mifutt
Regional Director, Atlanta:  Frank Lee Scarlett
Director, Gender Studies:  Amanda B. Reckondwyth
Chairman, Math. Dept.:  Horatio Algebra
Staff Meteorologist:  Gail Storm
Director of Unsolicited Advice:  H. Ross Peugeot
Air Quality Monitor:  Carmine Dioxide
Staff Disciplinarian:  Les Stern
Staff Chaplain:  Neil Down
Personal Trainer:  Kerry Oki, Victor Yugo
Staff Author:  Four-Door Dostoevski
Congressional Lobbyists:
    Orrin Hatchback, Dan Rustencarski, Paul Simonize, & B.F.Gingrich
Copyright Attorney:  Pat Pending
Spiritual Counselor:  Miss Dolly Lama
Fact Checker:  Ella Fynoe
Dental Hygienist:  Ginger Vitis
Graduation Coordinators:  Val and Dick Torian
Assistant Transportation Coordinator.:  Orson Buggy
Photographer:  F. Stop Fitzgerald
Emissions Tester:  Justin Hale VII (I, II,III, IV, V, VI may they RIP)
International Lubrication Experts:
    C.V. Boutros Boutros Gali and Fidel Castrol
Art Critic:  Phyllis Steen
Staff Geneticist:  Dr. Jean Poole
Assertiveness Training Coach:  Lois Steem
Coordinator, 12 step Recovery Program:  Cody Pendant
Marriage Counselor:  Marion Haste
Staff Bikini Waxer:  Harry Mouval
Director of Sports Information:  Linus Scrimmage
Elocution Coach:  Richard Shun (aka Dick)
Literary Critics:  Ernest & Julio Hemingway
Poet Laureate:  Ogden Nash Rambler
Fashion Consultant:  Natalie Attired
Producer's Office, Furnished by:  Rick Kliener
Chairman, Oral History Department:  Ira Caull
Director, Nutritional Supplements:  Rose Hips
Staff Cardiologist:  Angie O'Plasty
Manager, Employee Refrigerator:  Carmen Dating
Director, Congressional Funding:  Fred Knott
Director of Automotive Security:  Boris Karlarm
Automotive Registrar:  Megan Model
Attorney General:  Janet Torino
Parking Attendant:  Rick O'Shea
Lighting Expert:  Shanda Lear
Celebrity Consultants:  Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar
Grammar Consultant:  I.M. Shirley Wright
Seating Consultant:  Rush Lumbar
German Interpreter:  Axel Hausen
Defense Dept. Consultant:  Major Error
Director of Computer Services:  Dot Matrix
Asst Directors of Computer Services:  Sy Burnett and Sy Quest
Autobody Expert:  James Bondo
Child Development Expert:  Dr. Benjamin Spark
Director, Italian Traffic Enforcement:  Noah U. Turna
Asst Fleet Manager:  Lisa Carr
Director of Country Music:  Stan Beyerman
Automotive Finishes Consultant:  Rusty Steele
Electronics Technician:  Sammy Conductor
Repair Cost Consultant:  Bill M. Moore
Heads of Parts Dept.:  Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity
Chairman, Underemployment Study Group:  Art Majors
Car Talk Opera Critic:  Barbara Seville
Staff Nutritionist:  Arlene Menu
Staff Cooks:  Al Dente, Sal Monella
Staff Cat Feeder:  Ken Opener
Staff Reporters:  Walter Windshield, Walter Crankcase
Staff Dramatist:  Anton Chokeov
Director of Warm Weather Programming:  Sumner Reruns
Transportation Coordinator:  Rick Shaw
Fleet Manager:  Oscar de la Rental
Keeper of Bell Tower:  (Hatchback of Notre Dame)Quasi Automotive
President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men:
    Emerson Fittibaldie (he's also a client)
Director, Cadillac Steering:  Toulouse Toutrack
Manager, Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund:  Les Ismore
Tax Consultant:  Lou Pole
Staff Composers:  Gustav Muffler, Bela Cartok
Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra:  Philip Harmonic
Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra:  Sludgy Ozawa
Staff Psychologist:  Les Moody
Director of Purchasing:  Lois Bidder
Head of Security:  Barb Dwyer
Head of Bldgs. & Grounds:  Moe D'Lawn
Safety Officers:  Mort & Fay Tality
Sales Motivation Coach:  Norman Vincent Pealeout
Liaison Officer to Volvo & Renault:  Bjorne Toulouse
Director, Long Range Strategic Planning:  Kay Sera
Designer Of Our Casual Clothing Line:  Noh Tie, Woo!
Staff Urologist:  Willa Catheter
Director Of The Car Talk Psychic Network:  La Toyota Jackson
Montana Traffic Law Director:  Hugh Jim Bissell
Manager Of Cartalk.Com:  Cy Burnett
Director Of High Speed Impact Studies:  Ricardo Montana-Bahn
Director of Staff Pay Increases:
    Xavier Breath (assisted by Tony Von Thinkett!)
Curator of Tom's Car Collection:  Rex Galore
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff:  John Shall-I-Pop-a-Wheelie
Timing Director:  Benjamin Not-Yet-You-Yahoo!
Nutrition Consultants:  Eaton Wright and Liven Good
Staff Carburetor Expert:  Leslie Stahl
Chief of Stadium Seating for the Olympics:  Wayne Back
Staff Grief Counselor:  Ariel Bummerman
Conservative Political Commentator:  Eileen Tudor-Wright
Co-Chairmen of Apathy Study Group:  Ben Thayer, Don Thatt
Chief Legal Counsel:  Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham and Howe

© 1996 Peter Langston