Fun_People Archive
15 Oct
Job Search Humor

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 15 Oct 96 11:20:56 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Job Search Humor

Forwarded-by: Ninafel@aol.com
Forwarded-by: WGelberg@aol.com

These are true comments job applicants made during their job searches:

COVER LETTER:
-- Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:
-- Responsibility makes me nervous.
--They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning.
Couldn't work under those conditions.
-- Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES:
-- While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly
disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the
experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately
lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as
the major sphere of responsibility.
-- I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.

SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:
-- Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does
not know I am looking for another job.
-- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
-- I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant.

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES:
-- Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.

PERSONAL INTERESTS:
-- Donating blood. 14 gallons so far.

SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:
-- Education:  College, August 1880-May 1984.
-- Work experience:  Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse.
-- Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.
-- I'm a rabid typist.
-- Instrumental in ruining an entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.

© 1996 Peter Langston