Fun_People Archive
13 Oct
The Comedian's Eye View from 10/14/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 96 22:53:02 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View from 10/14/96

Excerpted-from: 10/14/96 -- ShopTalk

                       Monday October 14, 1996

     "The defense suffered a setback in the second O.J. trial when
      Simpson was ordered to turn over a secret video tape which
      lawyers say contain proof of his guilt.  What's on that tape?
      The first O.J. trial."
                                  Norm MacDonald on SNL


Playing the field: A 12-year-old fan won a playoff game for the Yankees on
Wednesday by reaching over the fence to grab a fly ball, which was ruled a
home run.  Says Hy Faber, "It was the best catch of the year, next to JFK Jr."

He adds, "The kid did such a great job for the Yankees, George Steinbrenner
fired him."

The Orioles' controversial Roberto Alomar won his sixth straight Gold Glove
award.  Says Alan Ray, "It was an emotional moment at the stadium.  There
wasn't a dry umpire in the place."

In the news: Tough choice, says Mark Gonzales.  "The networks had live
coverage of the vice presidential debate.  The Home & Garden Channel was
showing grass growing.  Thank goodness for VCRs!"

Bruce Springsteen was upset that the Dole campaign blared his song "Born in
the USA" at a rally in New Jersey.  Says Alex Pearlstein, "He was especially
incensed that they played the song while tearing up a hot-dog vendor's green
card."

On that ad starring Elizabeth Dole, Argus Hamilton says: "Mrs. Dole says
her husband is telling the truth about the 15% tax cut- that he doesn't make
promises unless he intends to keep them.  That's the second Mrs. Dole, if
you're keeping track of vows."

Clinton signed into law a bill to make air travel safer and less
frightening.  Says Jenny Church, "what, he outlawed those in-flight meals?"

Disney got approval to build a new theme park called "The California
Adventure."  Says Gonzales, "The park will include Mudslideland,
Earthquakeland, Riotland and Infernoland."

Dr. Joycelyn Elders, who resigned as surgeon general amid furor over her
support for teaching kids about masturbation, has a new book out.  Says
Steve Voldseth, "I bought a copy - just for the articles, of course.
Bookstores don't know whether to put it with the biographies or the
do-it-yourself handbooks."

Tiny Tim is out of the hospital after suffering a heart attack on stage.
Says Gary Easley, "Prognosis: He has no chance of getting back to normal,
but doctors hope he can return to his old self."

CBS is flooding the airwaves with new sitcoms this fall.  Says Hamilton,
"Parents and police are concerned.  They're fearful that more comedy on TV
will only lead to more comedy on the streets."

Through the magic of computer imaging, the late George Burns will play the
role of God in the new film "The Best Man."  Says the Cutler Daily Scoop,
"Typical Hollywood.  A dead actor has an easier time getting a role than an
aging actress."

© 1996 Peter Langston