Fun_People Archive
7 Oct
New Disney Classics

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  7 Oct 96 21:58:38 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: New Disney Classics

Forwarded-by: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
Forwarded-by: marvw@primenet.com

New Disney Classics:

   The Inferno by Dante Aligheri

      The poet Dante (the voice of Bruce Willis) is led by his friend
      Virgil (the voice of Anthony Quinn) on a magical trip underground
      to the land of "Heck." Among the delightful creatures they visit
      are the lovebirds Paolo and Francesca (the voices of Andrew Dice
      Clay and Rosie O'Donnell), the Crying Trees (the band Nirvana),
      and the Five Singing Little Devils (the Jacksons).

   Moby Dick by Herman Melville

      Crusty seafarer Captain Ahab (the voice of Dom Deluise) and his
      lovely mermaid friend Fishtail (speaking voice of Brett Butler,
      singing voice of Alanis Morrissette) take Ahab's young nephew
      Ishmael (Matthew Broderick) on a delightful romp at sea in search
      of the legendary great white whale Moby Dick (voice of Robin
      Williams). Though songs of the whale's evil temper and
      destructiveness are sung by many of the friendly natives on the
      islands visited by the jolly crew, Moby turns out to be a lonely,
      but lovable, giant. Ishmael learns an important lesson: Things
      aren't always as they appear!

   Animal Farm by George Orwell

      Pigs, chickens, horses -- all the familiar barnyard crowd -- are
      the heroes of this charming celebration of teamwork and diversity.
      The poor animals, having suffered for years on a failing farm
      under the tyranny of the cruel farmer Jones (Robert Goulet), are
      suddenly liberated when Jones trips and falls down a well. Though
      things are chaotic at first, the kindly young pigs Snowball
      (Michael J. Fox) and Napoleon (Eddie Murphy) help the animals all
      work together to turn the farm into a model of efficiency and
      happiness. After the animals nurse Jones back to health, he
      changes his evil ways and promises to treat all living things as
      his equal.

   Hamlet by William Shakespeare

      With his father dead and his evil uncle Claudius (Sylvester
      Stallone) now ruling over the once-happy people of Denmark, all
      seems lost for poor prince Hamlet (Johnny Depp). But Hamlet's
      father (Leslie Nielson) is only pretending to be dead until he can
      safely help place his young son on the throne and his evil brother
      in jail. Featuring an underwater ballet with the beautiful Ophelia
      (Bette Midler) and the loony antics of a wise-guy skull named
      Yorick (Rodney Dangerfield), Hamlet's best friend.

   No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre

      Old friends Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, and Minnie Mouse are
      surprised to find themselves sharing a room in a beautiful resort
      hotel. Their every need is catered to by a mysterious butler (Jim
      Carrey). Opening in conjunction with Walt Disney World's new
      attraction, Being-and-Nothingness Land.

   The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

      Young Gregor Samsa (Arnold Schwarzenegger), overwhelmed by the
      demands of his job as a clerk, wishes each night that he was a
      creature without responsibility. He is amazed one morning when he
      awakes to find himself changed into a beautiful beetle, which
      delights his family and terrifies his cruel boss (Jerry Seinfeld),
      who is horribly afraid of insects. Jiminy Cricket guides young
      Gregor to a happy community of insects that nest below the dull
      city of Prague.

   Oedipus Rex by Sophocles

      Thanks to the advice of a wise old owl (Sally Kellerman), a young
      boy (Neil Patrick Harris) avoids many traps set by the evil fates
      (Candice Bergen, Cybill Shepard, and Mary Tyler Moore) to help
      save Greece from disaster. The boy, who was stolen from his family
      at birth, is finally reunited with his loving mother (Barbara
      Streisand) and father (Bill Cosby).

   Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

      Vladimir and Estragon (the delightful Chip 'n' Dale) wait for
      Godot (Rush Limbaugh), who arrives with limitless presents and
      makes all their dreams come true.

© 1996 Peter Langston