Fun_People Archive
2 Oct
When In Camelot...

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  2 Oct 96 23:11:18 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: When In Camelot...

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: glen mccready <glen@qnx.com>

King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest.  He was worried about
leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round
Table.  So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his
predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back
in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.

A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good
wizard was showing him his latest invention.  It was a chastity belt...
except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.  "This is no
good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening.  How is this
supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"

"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench
until he found his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard
anyway.  He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt
whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.

"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the greatful monarch, "Now I can leave,
knowing that my Queen is fully protected." After putting Guinevere in the
device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest.

Several years passed until he returned to Camelot.  He assembled all his
knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal
'short arm' inspection.  Sure enough!  Each and every one of them was either
amputated or damaged in some way.  All of them except Sir Galahad.

"Sir Galahad", exclaimed King Arthur, "The one and only true knight!  Only
you among all the nobles have been true to me.  What reward would you like?
Name it and it is yours!"  But Sir Galahad was strangely speechless.

© 1996 Peter Langston