Fun_People Archive
25 Sep
Personal <--> English Dictionary

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 25 Sep 96 16:22:39 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Personal <--> English  Dictionary

Forwarded-by: Jef Jaisun <eljefe@halcyon.com>
From: Jason Herres <jasonh@isomedia.com>
Subject: Personals

Beware of false advertising!

        A SIMPLE GUIDE TO TRANSLATING "PERSONAL" ADVERTISEMENTS


Independent Thinker . . . . . . . Crazy.

Outrageous . . . . . . . . . . .  Crazy and likely to indulge in dangerous
				  behavior.

High-Spirited  . . . . . . . . .  Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things.

Free-Spirited  . . . . . . . . .  Crazy and irresponsible.

Ample  . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Large.

Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . .  Large

Zaftig . . . . . . . . . . . . .  REALLY Large

Fat and Sassy  . . . . . . . . .  Large and loudmouthed.

Slender  . . . . . . . . . . . .  Skinny.

Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Anorexic.

Petite (I am). . . . . . . . . .  Short.

Petite (you are) . . . . . . . .  Size 2.

Dynamic  . . . . . . . . . . . .  Pushy.

Assertive  . . . . . . . . . . .  Pushy with a mean streak.

Excited About Life's Journey . .  No concept of reality.

Moody  . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Manic-depressive.

Unpredictable  . . . . . . . . .  Manic-depressive and off medication.

Soulful  . . . . . . . . . . . .  Manic-depressive and quiet.

Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Manic-depressive and boring.

Looking for Mr/Ms Right. . . . .  Looking for Mr/Ms Rich.

"Very Human" . . . . . . . . . .  Quasimodo.

Uninhibited  . . . . . . . . . .  Lacking basic social skills.

Irreverent . . . . . . . . . . .  Mean and lacking basic social skills.

Aging Child  . . . . . . . . . .  Self-centered adult.

Freedom-loving . . . . . . . . .  Undependable.

Young at Heart . . . . . . . . .  Over-40.

Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . .  Over-50 and in major denial.

Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Never shuts up.

Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . .  Watches too much TV and never shuts up.

Financially secure (I am). . . .  Has a job.

Financially secure (you are) . .  Rich.

Affectionate . . . . . . . . . .  Horny.

Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . .  Horny.

Passionate . . . . . . . . . . .  REALLY horny.

© 1996 Peter Langston