Fun_People Archive
18 Sep
Communication Problems

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 96 16:36:12 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Communication Problems

Forwarded-by: dss@opcode.com (Daniel Steinberg)

  Language proficiency is part of the international contracting scene.
  This exchange between an English-speaking traveler and a member of
  the hotel staff in a Far East hotel was recorded in the "Far-East
  Economic Review".

  Room Service: Morny. Rune-sore-bees.
  Hotel Guest: Oh, sorry. I thought I dialed Room Service.
  RS: Rye, rune-sore-bees. Morny. Djewish to odor sunteen?
  HG: Uh... yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs.
  RS: Ow July den?
  HG: What?
  RS: Aches. Ow July den? Pry, boy, pooch...?
  HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
  RS: Ow July dee baycome? Crease?
  HG: Crisp will be fine.
  RS: Hokay. An Santos?
  HG: What?
  RS: Santos. July Santos?
  HG: Ugh. I don't know... I don't think so.
  RS: No. Judo one toes?
  HG: Look, I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
      "judo one  toes" means. I'm sorry.
  RS: Toes! Toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow cenglish mopping
      we bother?
  HG: English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An
      English muffin will be fine.
  RS: We bother?
  HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
  RS: Wad?
  HG: I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.
  RS: Copy?
  HG: I feel terrible about this but...
  RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
  HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.
  RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino fee, strangle aches, crease
      baycome, tossy cenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and
      copy. Rye?
  HG: Whatever you say.
  RS: Hokay. Tendjewberrymud.
  HG: You're welcome.

© 1996 Peter Langston