Fun_People Archive
26 Aug
The Comedian's Eye View from 8/27/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 26 Aug 96 20:53:41 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View from 8/27/96

Excerpted-from: 8/27/96 -- ShopTalk

     "You aren't just electing a president. You're also giving a
      career boost to some wiseguy comedian. I mean honestly, had
      you ever heard of this Dana Carvey before he started
      imitating me -- badly? . . . What kind of a name is Dana for
      a man, anyway?"
                                  Former President George Bush in a
                                  promo for Comedy Central's
                                  Indecision '96 coverage

                               &&&&&&&&&&


Oh, them Dems: The Democratic National Convention opened yesterday in
Chicago:

"When this party comes to town, Chicago officials know what they like.
The city is rolling out the red tape." (Alan Ray)

"President Clinton already has gotten two key items locked up: the
nomination and Susan McDougal." (Ray)

"Clinton will travel there by Amtrak.  He'd get there faster on
NordicTrack." (Faber)

"Bob Dole tried making a cross-country train trip, but they kept draping an
American flag over him." (Faber)

In the news: Clinton signed the welfare-reform bill into law late last week.
Says the Cutler Daily Scoop, "Now if you want to get a government check for
the rest of your life without having to do anything, you have to get elected
to Congress."

Adds Alex Kaseberg, "Weaning people off welfare won't be hard.  It's weaning
people off food that will prove tricky."

The sales agent for Ronald Reagan's ranch is offering Reaganomic financing,
says EP Dowd.  "That's where you sign for the mortgage but your
grandchildren have to make the payments."

The SAT scores of college-bound high school seniors have increased slightly.
Asks Jenny Church, "Is that because students are smarter, or because the
officials calculating the averages can't do the math?"

Adds Bob Mills, "Their SAT scores may be up, but their scores on SUN, MON,
TUE, WED, THU and FRI still suck."

Stock in Jenny Craig's company has fallen dramatically.  Says Ray,
"Testimonials about how much you can lose in 10 days now come from
investors."
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