Fun_People Archive
12 Jun
Bits O' Bull No. 377!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 96 18:25:22 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Bits O' Bull No. 377!

Excerpted-from: Burned-Out Newspapercreatures Guild Bull No. 377!
		by Chief Copyboy Charley Stough
   ...

FYI.  Of course busy professionals are entitled to create acronyms in shop
talk, and City Editor Ken Maryanski, plus ex-news editor Dave Misialowski,
of the Antioch (Calif.) Ledger Dispatch are too.  Here is their "Lex 14"
code list, according to Nanette Logue <Pwoodgrl@aol.com> of the same shop:
     BLT: Bloodshed, Lechery and Terrorism. (Frank's dream sandwich of
Page 1 material.)
     BOOP: Blown Out of Proportion.
     BOOP-BOOP-A-DUPE: Boring, Ordinary Old Problem Blown Out of Proportion
And Done Until Puns Exhausted.
     BUNG: Buried or Unwritten Nut Graf. ("Hey, [name of reporter], you've
got a really huge BUNG hole.")
     CUTE: Cuddly, Unjaded Tyke: Ecch! ("That was a really CUTE story," Ken
growled.)
     DOOWOP: Dragged-On, Overly Wordy, Old Pap.
     DORQ: Done Only to Reach Quota. ("That was a really DORQ-y story.")
     GADFLY: Get A Decent Effing Life, Yapper.
     GLO: Grieving Loved Ones. ("Have you finished the GLO story on the
drive-by of the kid who was never in any trouble and only packed a sawed-off
as a fashion accessory, yet?")
     HALT: Hell, Any Little Thing. (What Ledger editors will put on page 1.)
     HIP: Hyped Into Paralysis. (What happens when a reporter waits too long
to write a seemingly all-important story, then realizes the idea actually
sucks and could never be written as well as originally intended. "Hey, that
high school boundary issue would make a really HIP story.")
     IRE: Irate Readers Everywhere. ("We really raised IRE today.")
     JAWAM: Just Add Water And Mix. (Courtesy of ex-reporter Chris Jensen,
who was so good, he made it look like all stories were as effortless to
write as a JAWAM.)
     NAFTA: Neighbors And Friends Tell All.
     OPOOMA: One Pulled Out Of My Armpit. ("This column is an OPOOMA, Ken.")
     PAM-THEN: Pervert Accused of Molesting,  Though Hard Evidence
Nonexistent.
     PISS photo: People In Street Smiling.
     POWWWW: Piss Off Weenies, Whiners, Wimps and Whackos.  ("POWWWW! This
story sure will have an impact!")
     SOCK: Show Off Council Knowledge. ("What's this? A moot, mitigated
piece of infrastructure? Quit SOCKing off.")
     SOP: Sobbing Over Phone. ("Ken, you want to handle this SOP call?")
     TUBES: Totally Unnecessarily BOOPed Extra Stories. ("That lifestyle
department needs its TUBES tied.")
     YAHOO: Yet Another Helpful, Ornery Ombudsman. (A city desk caller.)
     YES: You Egotistical S.O.B.! (Insert before any name. "YES, Dave,
whatever you say.")


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© 1996 Peter Langston