Fun_People Archive
8 Jun
Bits of Bull No. 376!

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat,  8 Jun 96 01:50:56 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Bits of Bull No. 376!

Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 376!

  Copyright (c) 1996 by BONG.  All rights reserved.

For June 5-6, 1996.  St. Peter greets a newcomer at the Pearly
Gates, noting that they don't get many 165-year-old lawyers up
there.  The lawyer protests that he was only 51.  "Oh, our
mistake," Pete says.  "We were going by your time sheets."

 ...

     -- Meanwhile John Cole (crj@herald-sun.com) reports an
unfortunate result of over-rigid style rules.  "The former Durham
(N.C.) Morning Herald's style for wedding announcement heds
called for the bride's maiden name to appear first, followed by a
comma and then the groom's last name:  'Smith, Brown.' Usually
this was accompanied by a photo of the blushing bride or happy
couple. One day there arrived an announcement of the pending
nuptials of a Miss Swallows to a Mr. Cox. The feature copy editor
bit his lip and did his duty: 'Swallows, Cox.'"
     -- Dan Vukelich, business editor of the Albuquerque (N.M.)
Tribune, records a decision by his sister-in-law the late Marie
Attmore, Journal women's editor and, later, features editor.
"There was a flap in the back shop about a wedding announcement
that had to be cut.  This was in the days of hot type.  The debate
was over which announcement should be cut, and whether some
socialite's was too long and was taking up space at the expense of
poor folks.
     "Marie, who held her own with the all-male back shop through
bluff and bluster, marches back, asks how many, how long, how many
inches over, then announces, 'Cut the rich girl.  Six inches is
long enough for any bride!"

© 1996 Peter Langston