Fun_People Archive
7 Jun
Nutria Antics

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  7 Jun 96 13:06:14 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Nutria Antics

[Hmmm... I wonder if nutria will eat kudzu?  -psl]

Forwarded-by: elshaw@MIT.EDU (Libby Shaw)
Forwarded-by: georgea3@ix.netcom.com (george m. anderson II )

For over a year now, Sheriff Harry Lee (Jefferson Parish outside New
Orleans) has ordered his swat squad and deputies to shoot nutria (giant rat
from S. America).  They are eating up everything in sight and burrowing
holes which cause erosion thereby destroying roadbeds. Bunch of good ole
boys, drinking lots of beer, wandering around in the near swamp, shooting
anything that moves.  Fun at first, now beginning to resemble work.

But technology comes to the rescue.  Enter one Mike Holland, a pathologist
from North Carolina.  Says we can use lasers to vaporize their asses.  Just
cost $25,000,000.  A bit steep.  But for just $1,000, the good doctor could
get a laser that would blind them.

Holland said he will return to North Carolina and try to come up with a
computer-operated nutria-killing system that would use a light that
identifies nutria based on the unique components of their retinas.

Thank god, we're in safe hands now.

© 1996 Peter Langston