Fun_People Archive
13 May
The Comedian's Eye View - 5/12/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 13 May 96 13:54:45 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View - 5/12/96

Excerpted-from: ShopTalk <shoptalk@tvspy.com>

In the News: Atlanta's high crime rate has Olympics organizers worried:
"It's so bad, officials who inspected the Olympic flame suspect arson."

"For the first time, starters' pistols will be loaded with real bullets."
(Mills)

"Hey, fellas, just modernize some of your events: 5,000-meter-run from a
purse-snatcher; hammer throw though the window of your rental car; 100-meter
backstroke and $100 inner-thigh stroke." (Jerry Perisho)

Pacific Bell wants to raise the price of a phone call.  "Great," says Larry
Swerdlow, "first we can't afford to drive.  Now our fingers can't afford to
walk."

To improve the image of rude cabbies, the New York Taxi Commission will
require drivers to say "I'm sorry" and "thank you" to customers.  Says Bill
Williams, "The drivers' union won a transition period, in which cabbies are
allowed to say 'I'm %@#&ing sorry' and 'thank you, $*#%.'"

A music publisher claims she owns the rights to Barney's "I Love You" song.
Says Paul Ryan, "That's like claiming to be the brains behind Jeff
Gillooly."

© 1996 Peter Langston