Fun_People Archive
10 May
The Time Study Man Dines Out...

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 10 May 96 17:13:25 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Time Study Man Dines Out...

Forwarded-by: Ninafel@aol.com
Forwarded-by: jhoff@gauss.math.brown.edu (Jeffrey Hoffstein)

A man who had come into some money needed a tax write-off, so he bought a
restaurant that was losing money.  After a few months, he decided he liked
the restaurant and wanted to make a go of it.  So he hired an efficiency
expert.  "I'm going on vacation for three weeks," he told the efficiency
expert.  "When I get back, I want to see that restaurant operating in the
black."

Three weeks go by, and our friend returns from vacation.  He disguises
himself, goes to the restaurant, and gets a table.  The place is a beehive
of activity--tables filled, waiters coming and going.  A waiter soon comes
to our friend's table to take his order.

As he's giving his order, the owner bumps his spoon and it falls on the
floor.  With a flourish, the waiter produces a fresh spoon from his  breast
pocket.  "Why do you have a spoon in your pocket?" he asks.  "Oh, that's
the efficiency expert's idea," replies the waiter.  "You see, customers
often need an extra spoon for their meal, and the waiter's station is in
the back of the restaurant.  By carrying a spoon in our pockets, we save
time and serve the customers better."

The owner thought about this, and was pleased with the change in attitude.
As the waiter turned to go, the owner stopped him again.  "Excuse me, but
I notice that you have a piece of string hanging out of your fly," he said
to the waiter.  "Oh, that's the efficiency expert's idea, too," the waiter
replied.  "You see, we often have to use the restroom during our shift, and
state law requires that we wash our hands every time we go to the bathroom.
By using the string, I don't have to touch myself, so I don't have to wash
my hands.  This saves a lot of time."

"Well," said the owner, "I can see how you get it out with the string, but
how do you put it back?"  "Well sir," said the waiter, "I don't know about
the other waiters, but I use my spoon."

© 1996 Peter Langston