Fun_People Archive
8 May
News from the Paranormal Football Front

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  8 May 96 12:27:21 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: News from the Paranormal Football Front

From: James Randi --- Wizard <randi-hotline@ssr.com>

Uri Geller was widely advertised as being called into action to save the
failing Reading football club in the UK.  That effort, though Mr. Geller
assured everyone of imminent success, was anything but.  However, all hope
is not lost....!

 From a pet forum on the Internet, we read:

>Miss Ellie, the hamster belonging to Reading Football Club, died
>recently and was given a fitting burial in one of the goalmouths
>at Elm Park.  Quite remarkably, after a dismal run all season,
>following the burial Reading have totally transformed their
>performance with a 3-0 win at home to Wolves, which incidentally
>saved them from relegation.  Goals seem to come particularly freely
>at Miss Ellie's end.  The team are convinced that they are now
>receiving supernatural assistance from Miss Ellie.  Earlier in the
>season they employed Uri Geller to psyche them up, which failed
>totally, but it seems that the powers of a hamster are stronger
>still...

(Note: "relegation" is UK football talk for "oblivion")

Now, I trust that Mr. Geller will act in a chivalrous manner, and will
resist claiming that his powers, working over a period of several months,
and not Miss Ellie's, achieved this small wonder.  Respect for the dead
would seem to be called for here, and I, for one, will not cast doubt upon
the ability of a dead rodent to lead a football team to victory.  As for
spoon-benders, I have serious doubts, which seem to have been reinforced
by this episode.

                                                              James Randi
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