Fun_People Archive
2 May
The Comedian's Eye View - 5/3/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  2 May 96 20:17:15 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View - 5/3/96

Excerpted-from: 5/3/96 ShopTalk

Alex Kaseberg, on the weight-loss drug Redux, which sends messages to the
brain to suppress the appetite: "Studies show that it is almost 40% as
effective as finding a hair in your food."

Adds Cutler Daily Scoop: "Some doctors are worried about side effects,
including brain damage.  Hmmmm...thin and stupid--just the way Hollywood
likes 'em."

Argus Hamilton, on public pressure for the FBI to storm the Freemen ranch
in Montana: "You can't shot somebody for check kiting and bank fraud.  What
kind of precedent would that set for the first lady?"

Leno, on Madonna saying she will not marry the father of her baby: "But she
did say she might start dating his sister."

Hamilton, on accusations that Kathie Lee Gifford is selling clothes made by
Third World children working 12-hour shifts: "It's not true.  The inspectors
just happened to drop by the sweat shops on Guatemala's Take Your Daughter
to Work Day."

Among Ford Motor Co.'s Top 10 new slogans, according to David Letterman:
 O Have you driven a Ford to the fire station lately?
 O Forget Chevy--we've got the real Blazer!
 O Available in original or extra crispy/
 O Quality is job one; putting out the fire is job two.

© 1996 Peter Langston