Fun_People Archive
30 Apr
Lucky Charms Personality Profiles

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 30 Apr 96 20:00:13 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Lucky Charms Personality Profiles

Forwarded-by: "T. J. Morrison" <taurus@u.washington.edu>
Forwarded-by: ward.moore@autodesk.com

Ok, before you read this you have to know which is your favorite part
of Lucky Charms.  Here are your options:

*green clovers
	*blue diamonds
		*orange stars
			*pink hearts
				*purple horses
					*yellow moons
						*the oat bits

LUCKY CHARMS

      Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow
bit shape determines what you're like in bed!  Yes, it's true --- just take
this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality:

Green clovers:  If your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow shape is
  the green clover, you're a happy-go-lucky type in bed.  You don't take
  anything too seriously in the bedroom or elsewhere and always manage to
  have a good time, even if you have someone else with you.  You don't have
  any patience with depressed people and tend to sit on them until they
  cheer up.

Blue diamonds:  If your favorite marhmallow shape is the blue diamond,
  your thoughts in bed are mostly about what you'll get later.  "If he
  really enjoys this, will he buy me that mink coat?" is probably what's
  going through your mind.  People who like blue diamonds have a notebook
  of preprinted fill-in-the-blank palimony suit forms and are the people
  most likely to file their nails while making love.

Orange Stars:  If your favorite shape is the orange star, you expect to be
  the center of attention in bed.  You expect your partner to spend most of
  his time pleasing you and when you do something for him, you expect
  enthusiastic moaning if not applause.  People who like orange stars often
  have mirrors over their beds, not because they are turned on by watching
  what is being done, but because they want to be able to watch themselves
  having a good time.  They often moan out their own names while making
  love.

Pink hearts:  If you like pink hearts, you're the romantic type.  You like
  your partner to whisper romantic phrases into your ear and, if he's too
  distracted to form coherent phrases, you'll settle for romantic syllables.
  People who like pink hearts read most of the romance novels published and
  are turned on by people wearing armor.

Purple horseshoes:  If purple horseshoes are your thing, your tastes are
  modern, uninhibited, and somewhat warped.  You like variety in the
  bedroom, especially when you can include handcuffs, chains, swingsets,
  and chocolate pudding.  Be careful when going out on a picnic with anyone
  who likes purple horseshoes--she's likely to pin you down with croquet
  hoops when you're not looking and who knows what could happen next?

Yellow Moons:  If you're the yellow moon type, you're more interested in
  satisfying your partner's needs than your own.  You prefer to lie back
  and wait for your partner to jump on you and express her needs verbally
  or nonverbally.  People who like yellow moons usually own several pairs
  of handcuffs and other instruments of kinky sex just in case someone
  should ever want to tie them up and ravish them.  Keep your eyes open for
  anyone who eats all the purple horseshoes out of her cereal as soon as
  she opens the box.

Those little oat bits that aren't marshmallows at all:  If you prefer the
  little oat bits, you probably don't like sex anyway and don't need to read
  this article.  People who prefer the oat bits usually become accountants,
  librarians who work at the reference desk, or government employees; these
  people like to chow down on a big bowl brimming with oat bits before a
  tough day of protesting suggestive lyrics in rock music.  People who like
  oat bits have more time to spend writing letters to the editor than any
  other type.

Enjoy your Lucky Charms!

© 1996 Peter Langston