Fun_People Archive
25 Apr
Save While Speaking to God

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 25 Apr 96 13:15:17 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Save While Speaking to God

From: The Pullover Poet <dave@linex.com>

I had just moved when I got the post about registering to vote via the Web.
It seemed like a good idea so I visited the URL and filled out the form,
and was immediately put on an electronic mailing list of registered voters.
There was no indication that this might happen, so I was rather surprised
when I got the first advertisement.

It was titled "Please Help Us Save The Children", and was addressed to
"Fellow Christians."  Mind you, I am not now nor have I ever been a
Christian, but saving the children sounded so worthwhile that I continued
on despite the strange feeling that I was reading someone else's mail.

The message went on to say that all I had to do to Help Save The Children
was to use their long distance service (which I will not name).  They would
give ten percent of my monthly bill to the organization of my choice
(presumably subject to the stipulation that it be an approved group of the
type which "promote Christian values and the changing of lives"), and I
would meanwhile experience incredible savings on my long distance charges.

That's right, it was an ad for a long distance telephone service.

At the end there was a line which read, "Please, before you dismiss this
message, consider what we are trying to do."  Well, I thought about it, and
to me it seemed like invoking the name of Jesus Christ to sell phone time
was a bit of a departure from one of the traditional tenets...

Save me a seat in Heaven, I'll wait in the food line and bring you some
Milk Duds.

  --Dave

© 1996 Peter Langston