Fun_People Archive
25 Apr
The Comedian's Eye View - 4/ 25/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 25 Apr 96 04:42:50 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View - 4/ 25/96

Excerpted-from: 4/25/96 -- ShopTalk

In the News:  The NRA has announced that it will support Bob Dole for
president.  Says Bob Mills, "And this from the outfit whose leaders wear
holsters with special compartments for Republican congressmen."
                               o  o  o
The NFL player draft was held over the weekend. Says Argus Hamilton, "In
the first round, the Dallas Cowboys got some much-needed help on defense.
They drafted Johnnie Cochran."
                               o  o  o
Released after 44 days in prison, F. Lee Bailey held a press conference.
Says Premiere Morning Sickness, "He blurted: 'I don't believe it. A law-
abiding citizen goes to jail while murderers walk free...oops!'"
                               o  o  o
The University of Florida will be the first school in the state to require
incoming freshmen to pass a stringent writing test.  Says Williams, "If
they can write a check for six figures, they're in."
                               o  o  o
Louis Farrakhan says some of his ancestors may have been Jewish.  Says
Kenny Noble, "Small world.  Turns out he's been related to Marlon Brando."
                               o  o  o
A Philadelphia restaurant has a new policy of refusing to serve rude
people.  Premiere says the manager explained, "We used to have rude and
nonrude sections, but people were still bothered by secondhand rudeness."
                               o  o  o
Former Olympic gold medalist, Nadia Comaneci, returned home to Romania to
marry US champion gymnast, Bart Conner.  Says Hamilton, "This'll be the
most interesting honeymoon in history.  They've asked the hotel for a
spotter."

© 1996 Peter Langston