Fun_People Archive
23 Apr
The Comedian's Eye View - 4/23/96

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 23 Apr 96 03:12:30 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View - 4/23/96

Excerpted-from: ShopTalk -- 4/23/96
		Don Fitzpatrick <shoptalk@tvspy.com>

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In the News: The state Legislature is talking about creating an insurance
program to be called the California Earthquake Authority.  Says Jenny
Church, "There's already a California Earthquake Authority--named God."

President Clinton says he now sees "the good" in the GOP agenda.  Says Paul
Ryan, "The best part is, it could get him reelected."

Ryan adds, "He also supports the bill to make Congress obey the same laws
that apply to the rest of the public.  That way, he won't be the only one
under investigation."


A man was thrown of a Continental Airlines flight in Cleveland because he
didn't like the breakfast menu.  Now he's suing for $4.8 million.  Says
Steve Tatham, "He wouldn't accept an omelet from them but a nest egg would
be just fine."


Toy companies plan to introduce a Mike Tyson action figure, says Alan Ray.
"It comes fully assembled, but sexual battery is not included."


CNN reported that "mad cow" disease was caused by feeding sheepskin to
cattle.  Says Hamilton, "In Hollywood, sheepskin is used to fill in
wrinkles.  But since the disease attacks the brain, there's no danger to
anyone in Hollywood."


Final trip:  LSD guru and cancer patient Timothy Leary is "actively
exploring" the idea of committing suicide on camera, via the Internet:
"His new catch phrase: Boot up, log on, drop dead." (Cutler)
"Big deal! Apple has been doing that for two years." (Bill Williams)
"By jumping out his Windows?" (Church)
"If he thinks dying on camera is something new, he's not familiar with the
CBS lineup."  (Tatham)

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© 1996 Peter Langston