Fun_People Archive
20 Apr
The Comedian's Eye View - April 22, 1996

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 20 Apr 96 03:02:30 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View - April 22, 1996

Excerpted-from: 4-22-96-ShopTalk

In the news: Republicans and Democrats are asking Hollywood to cut down on
violent programming.  Says Argus Hamilton, "There's no question that TV has
a huge influence.  More and more criminals are now wearing that Rachel
hairstyle."


For killing their parents in their Beverly Hills mansion, Erik and Lyle
Menendez were sentenced to "life in prison without possibility of a book
deal."

Adds Hamilton, "The brothers will be easy to spot at San Quentin.  Their
serial number in 90210."

Adds Cutler, "Janet Reno will get a hickey before rich people get the death
penalty."


Spy magazine has declared Texas "the No. 1 Most Annoying State." Says Alex
Pearlstein, "Gov. George W. Bush cut short his press conference denying the
charge.  He was late for his lecture on chalkboard scratching and leaf-
blowing."


Hot cars: Ford may have to recall millions of cars because faulty ignitions
could cause them to catch fire:
"The folks in marketing haven't missed a beat.  If Broncos are found to be
a fire hazard, they will be renamed Blazers." (Alan Ray)

"Apparently, quality was Job Two." (Paul Steinberg)

"When Ford dealers advertise red-hot deals, they're not kidding." (Bob
Mills)


OK, so the Chicago Bulls set a record by winning 70 games this season.
Says Cutler, "The Lakers are still the best team--when push comes to
shove."

© 1996 Peter Langston