Fun_People Archive
15 Apr
JsOTD - 4/16/96 -

Date: Mon, 15 Apr 96 18:37:00 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: JsOTD - 4/16/96 -

Excerpted-from:      4/16/96 -- ShopTalk

   "Because their population has leveled off, the President of
    France is urging French women to have more babies. In a
    related story, tourism in France is up 800 percent."

                                  Conan O'Brien

                               &&&&&&&&&&

In the News: President Clinton is going to appear in a TV movie about a
child whose dying wish is to meet the president.  Says Steve Tatham, "After
that, he's going to appear in a months-long TV series with Bob Dole, about
an old man whose dying wish is to be the president."

It's less than a week until the NFL pro football draft.  Says Joe Vogel,
"Just out of habit, Clinton has scheduled a trip to Oxford."

One California state legislator says another took TV sets and other
electronics from his Capitol office. Says Church, "The accused indignantly
replied, 'It's not theft, it's privatization.'"

Layoffs at Kellogg's have left employees demoralized, says Paul Ryan.
"Reporters asked Tony the Tiger what he really thinks of Frosted Flakes and
he said, 'They're OK.'"

Police in Glendale tracked down a murder suspect through a bridal registry.
Asks Church, "What, was he running a napkin ring?"

Scientists have isolated a gene that appears to control the symptoms of
aging.  Says Mills, "It's triggered by 'early bird' dinners and too many
episodes of 'Murder, She Wrote.'"

Adds Alex Kaseberg, "Genes that cause aging? They were hanging in Keith
Richard's closet."

© 1996 Peter Langston