Fun_People Archive
11 Apr
FWD: Helpful tips

Date: Thu, 11 Apr 96 14:53:47 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: FWD: Helpful tips

[I think this litlle dialogue might have come from alt.sex.repressed.how.to  
-psl]


From: Daniel Steinberg <dss@opcode.com>
Subject: Re: FWD: Helpful tips

>From: Jeff Claus <claus@ithaca.edu>
>Received: from emout05.mail.aol.com
>Date: Fri, 12 Jan 1996 00:15:03 -0400 (EDT)
>
>
>- Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily
>overcoming tempting situations.
>- Avoid Temptation
>- When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open.
>- Arise immediately in the mornings. Don't lie awake in bed -- start each
>day with enthusiastic activity.
>- Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might create
>sexual excitement.
>- Use Physical Restraints
>- Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.
>- Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult to remove while
>half asleep.
>- Hold an object for example, a Bible even in bed at night.
>- In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame.
>- Be Alert To Emotions
>- Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely,
>bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the
>desire to masturbate as a way of escape.
>- Plan to counter these low periods through reading a book, visiting a
>friend, doing something athletic, etc.
>- Employ aversion therapy. To cancel out the pleasurableness of
>masturbating, associate something very distasteful with the act. For
>example, imagine bathing in a tub of worms and eating some of them.
>...

Thank you, Jeff, i was wondering what to do about this.  However,  i think
they do not go far enough in real preventative therapy.  I'd suggest a few
other measures:

- Construct a 'chastity belt' out of PVC tubing and a rubber strap.

- Fasten sandpaper, grit side facing in, around your penis.

- String a bare 110 volt wire across the middle of the bed at a height of
approximately 14 inches.  As long as you remain flaccid, you should be just
fine.

- Hang a 'Sword of Damocles' over the bed, suspended by a thin string.
Loop the string through a sharpened eye hook on the ceiling and tie it to
the bed frame.  If the bed starts rockin', you're in for some hard
knockin'.

- Super-glue your hands to your sides.  If this proves impractical, glue
your penis to your thigh.

- If all else fails, call Lorena Bobbitt.


-daniel

© 1996 Peter Langston