Fun_People Archive
11 Apr
JsOTD -- 4/11/96 -- ShopTalk

Date: Thu, 11 Apr 96 11:32:49 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: JsOTD -- 4/11/96 -- ShopTalk

From: Don Fitzpatrick <shoptalk@tvspy.com>

 "In Hawthorne's version, Hester Prynne did not have
 access to Nautilus equipment."

		- Grace (Brett Butler), noting a difference between Demi
		  Moore's 'The Scarlet Letter' and the classic novel

                               &&&&&&&&&&

In the news: Within the past week, news cameras caught both President
Clinton and Bob Dole in shorts.  Says Argus Hamilton, "TV viewers have seen
enough.  So far, the call-in vote is 100% against the idea of a swimsuit
competition."

Scandal over a video made for the Republican National Committee comes as
three former employees are suing, claiming that party headquarters is a
hotbed of lewd behavior, racism and gay-bashing.  Says the Cutler Daily
Scoop, "That's like working at Baskin-Robbins and complaining about the
calories."

AirTouch Communications and Cellular Communications hope to seal their
$1.65-billion merger soon.  Says Bob Mills, "Unfortunately, every time
their lawyers try to arrange a meeting for the signing, one of them drives
under a bridge and the phone goes dead."

The Academy of Country Music named Santa Ana's Crazy Horse Steak House as
its country nightclub of the year.  Says Paul Ecker, "It beat out last
year's winner, the Mad Cow Corral."

Montana madness:  Between the 'freemen' and the Unabomber suspect, Montana
is getting a reputation as a haven for kooks and government insurgents.
Says Alex Pearlstein, "In fact, there are so many paranoids there, they're
thinking of changing the state motto to 'Big Sky Is Falling Country.'"

"The FBI found the bomber suspect on a long list of heavily armed recluses
with a grudge against the US government.  It was the Montana White Pages."
(Hamilton)

"Some folks are trying to contradict that image.  Even Joe Montana is now
insisting he never threw any long bombs." (Pearlstein)

"Montana, where men are men and mailboxes are nervous....."
(D.P. Dauterive KUFM-TV)


He may not be grateful...[some of] The ashes of Jerry Garcia were scattered
over India's Ganges River:

 "His first choice was the Dead Sea." (Cutler)

 "Soon after, local residents swear they spotted a school of fish giggling
 and scarfing down Twinkies."  (Pearlstein)

 "Friends and family mourned the loss.  Those ashes had a street value of $3
 million."  (Alan Ray)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

© 1996 Peter Langston