Fun_People Archive
11 Apr
Republicans

Date: Thu, 11 Apr 96 01:13:46 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Republicans

Forwarded-by: Jack Keith <jkeith@panix.com>


A benign, unbiased overview of Republican behaviors, beliefs, social views:

To Republicans, family values means knowing the net worth after estate taxes
of all elderly relatives.

When Republicans discuss political philosophy the phrase "a more perfect
union" means getting divorced and marrying someone with more money, status
and power than the ex.

Republicans think social change means joining a new country club.

Radical social change means getting a divorce and having to join a new
country club.

Dangerous, radical social change means getting a divorce, having to join a
new country club and sending the kids to public school.

Their idea of irresponsible social behavior is committing white collar crime
and being caught - and then arriving late for cocktails and dinner.

Unforgiveably irresponsible social behavior is committing white collar crime
and being caught - and arriving late for cocktails and dinner wearing socks
that don't match.

Benign neglect of minorities means leaving the children home while the
parents dine at the country club.

© 1996 Peter Langston