Fun_People Archive
28 Mar
Comics' JsOTD - 3/27/96

Date: Thu, 28 Mar 96 19:20:12 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Comics' JsOTD - 3/27/96

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: dfitzpat@interserv.com

Record-setting horse trainer Frank Passaro and his groom have been charged
with rubbing hot pepper on the sex organs of their horses to make them run
faster.  Says Jay Leno, "This could be the trick that saves the Dole
campaign."

A new study says coffee drinkers are more likely to get hypertension.
Another study says hypertension is caused by racism.  Says [comic Argus]
Hamilton, "Either way, Denny's is no place to drop a dish on the floor."

The FAA will soon allow commercial pilots to choose their own routes:
"Pilots are elated.  They'll now have the same freedom that baggage
handlers have with the luggage."  (Alan Ray)
[No, the FAA said "routes," not "destinations."  -psl]

"In a similar move, flight attendants will get greater leeway in choosing
to hand out regular, dry, or honey-roasted peanuts instead of a decent meal."
(Bob Mills)

Video stores are starting to rent OJ Simpson's video.  Says Charlie Reinke,
"The only problem is deciding whether to file it under fiction or comedy."

Adds Paul Ecker, "You can now rent OJ's story, even if you still aren't
buying it."

In the news: During his recent trip to Louisiana, President Clinton's
limousine had to pull over when a piece of chrome fell off.  There was a
loud clacking noise and fluid leaked from beneath the car. Says Jerry
Perisho, "Well, you can say one thing for Clinton -- he buys American."

Ross Perot says he'll be the Reform Party's candidate, if they'll have
him.  "Let's see, he founded the party and financed it...I'm gonna go out
on a limb and say he'll be the front runner."  (Alex Pearlstein)

"Comedy writers all over the country have been joining the party in record
numbers."  (Bill Edwards)

© 1996 Peter Langston